Tennis On A Ship!
Mar. 9th, 2008 11:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blodeueddA review in pictures - click and be highly amused by the... geez, there are no words for how much these images make me giggle. In fact, the whole movie is a WTF?!? of gaily epic proportions.
Prince of Tennis : The Two Samurai:
This movie is retarded. And on crack, but that's a given for PoT, eh? Let's just say that in 64 minutes, there is a boat cruise, and evil plot to rig a tennis game, an evil chef, Atobe randomly showing up for no reason, an exploration of Ryouma's exists-only-in-this-movie family, dubious clothing, and oranges. Symbolic oranges.
Also, in this universe, all the regular characters are as dumb as bricks. Why else would their coach let nine teenaged boys leave unsupervised on a cruise ship run by this guy?
Please tell me that the boys borrowed suits from the ship's theatre department. That still doesn't excuse their choices of colour, though! I love how Oishi has a bow-tie. XD
We interrupt this gripping tale of fashion faux pas to bring you a random appearance by some of Hyoutei's hot bitches! Oshitari and Mukahi are out on a date, or something, and Oshitari suddenly feels the need to call up Atobe to whine about the fact that Seigaku was asked to play an exhibition match and Hyoutei wasn't.
As usual, Atobe will not be upstaged. If the Seigaku boys can wear silly suits, Atobe can lounge around at home in his frilly, lavender dressing gown!
Back on the boat...
The boys are discussing their suspicions that maybe the ship owner is up to no good. Gee, YA THINK?!? Their reasoning: the (cooked) food didn't taste like it was prepared right!
Suddenly, the animators notice that Eiji and Oishi have barely spoken two words to each other all movie, so have not yet provided the required amount of Golden Pair Love(tm) for the viewing fangirls. And this embrace makes so much sense, because when the ship starts shaking, what more solid thing is there to grab than yourboyfriend doubles partner? XD
The ship is sinking, but why let that interfere with a tennis match? Especially one involving flaming tornadoes!
That's a good approximation of my feelings after having watched this.
ETA: I forgot to mention that during the tennis match, which takes place outdoors, on a cruise ship, in the middle of the afternoon, the spectators were dressed as for a night at the opera. Then again, these were people fooled by marbled wallpaper, so maybe it's to be expected.
Prince of Tennis : The Two Samurai:
This movie is retarded. And on crack, but that's a given for PoT, eh? Let's just say that in 64 minutes, there is a boat cruise, and evil plot to rig a tennis game, an evil chef, Atobe randomly showing up for no reason, an exploration of Ryouma's exists-only-in-this-movie family, dubious clothing, and oranges. Symbolic oranges.
Also, in this universe, all the regular characters are as dumb as bricks. Why else would their coach let nine teenaged boys leave unsupervised on a cruise ship run by this guy?
Hi, I'm Ryouma's adopted foster who the hell knows older brother, but he doesn't remember me. We used to live on a farm surrounded by orange trees in Somewhere, America. Also, I eat oranges without peeling them first.
Please tell me that the boys borrowed suits from the ship's theatre department. That still doesn't excuse their choices of colour, though! I love how Oishi has a bow-tie. XD
Ryouma is all, "I'm the only one of us wearing a semi-decent-looking suit/tie combo, and you had to stick me in a PINK shirt?!"
We interrupt this gripping tale of fashion faux pas to bring you a random appearance by some of Hyoutei's hot bitches! Oshitari and Mukahi are out on a date, or something, and Oshitari suddenly feels the need to call up Atobe to whine about the fact that Seigaku was asked to play an exhibition match and Hyoutei wasn't.
As usual, Atobe will not be upstaged. If the Seigaku boys can wear silly suits, Atobe can lounge around at home in his frilly, lavender dressing gown!
The decor puts me in mind of that "Library/Study" screensaver (or was it a desktop image?) that came with Windows '95. It certainly looks like it was rendered in 1995!
Back on the boat...
Kawamura: I'm wearing my father's suit from the '70s. What's your excuse?
Eiji: My father was a bellhop. In a Las Vegas casino. In the '80s.
Momoshiro: My dad--
Kaidoh: Shut up. There is NO EXCUSE for that.
Eiji: My father was a bellhop. In a Las Vegas casino. In the '80s.
Momoshiro: My dad--
Kaidoh: Shut up. There is NO EXCUSE for that.
The boys are discussing their suspicions that maybe the ship owner is up to no good. Gee, YA THINK?!? Their reasoning: the (cooked) food didn't taste like it was prepared right!
Because if anyone should know about properly cooking a meal, it would be a 14-year-old apprentice sushi chef.
Ryouma: Fuji-senpai, even if what you were saying made any sense, no one would listen to anyone wearing that suit. Who the hell dressed you, anyway?
Fuji: Shut up, this is my sister's.
Inui: My father went to clown school.
Ryouma: Fuji-senpai, even if what you were saying made any sense, no one would listen to anyone wearing that suit. Who the hell dressed you, anyway?
Fuji: Shut up, this is my sister's.
Inui: My father went to clown school.
Good thing Inui can keep his wits about him, otherwise they would have all been fooled by the marble wallpaper!
Oishi: Tezuka, I've been wondering. How come you and Atobe always wear purple?
Tezuka: ...
Oishi: No, seriously. Whenever we see you guys out of uniform, there's an 80% chance you'll be wearing something purple.
Tezuka: ...
Oishi: Is it like, a requirement for tennis team captains to wear purple, or something? Though that doesn't explain that Mizuki guy.
Tezuka: ...
Oishi: I mean, even that suit you wore to dinner was bright purple. And now you've got this purple shirt on.
Tezuka: This is lilac.
Tezuka: ...
Oishi: No, seriously. Whenever we see you guys out of uniform, there's an 80% chance you'll be wearing something purple.
Tezuka: ...
Oishi: Is it like, a requirement for tennis team captains to wear purple, or something? Though that doesn't explain that Mizuki guy.
Tezuka: ...
Oishi: I mean, even that suit you wore to dinner was bright purple. And now you've got this purple shirt on.
Tezuka: This is lilac.
Moon... Power... Purple... Love... SMASH!
Tezuka's smash is powerful. Powerful like a meteor. Powerful like the meteor that killed the dinosaurs. Or maybe powerful like dinosaurs running away from a meteor. Or powerful like dinosaurs running away from a meteor and the meteor COMBINED!
Suddenly, the animators notice that Eiji and Oishi have barely spoken two words to each other all movie, so have not yet provided the required amount of Golden Pair Love(tm) for the viewing fangirls. And this embrace makes so much sense, because when the ship starts shaking, what more solid thing is there to grab than your
The ship is sinking, but why let that interfere with a tennis match? Especially one involving flaming tornadoes!
Neptune Deep Submerge!
The ship has sunk, and they're out of sight of land, so Ryouga rides off into the sunset on a sea-doo. Of course!
Is no one going to point out the benefits of even weight distribution on small watercraft? Dumb. As. Bricks.
That's a good approximation of my feelings after having watched this.
ETA: I forgot to mention that during the tennis match, which takes place outdoors, on a cruise ship, in the middle of the afternoon, the spectators were dressed as for a night at the opera. Then again, these were people fooled by marbled wallpaper, so maybe it's to be expected.
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Date: 2008-03-13 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-13 10:10 pm (UTC)